What is EMDR?

EMDR, eye movement desensitization reprocessing is a therapeutic modality that utilizes alternating or bilateral stimulation to help people process distressing thoughts and emotions about past events. Jean was trained in EMDR in 2021 and completed the certification process in 2022. EMDR has many applications for trauma, anxiety, depression, dissociative symptoms, grief and more. Detailed information about EMDR training, evidence supporting its use and effectiveness can be found at EMDRIA, the overseeing body for EMDR credentialing, training, and research here; About EMDR Therapy - EMDR International Association (emdria.org)

What is Play Therapy? Why use play for therapy?

Play is the universal language of children. It allows children the emotional distance to process their emotions and develop skills to manage day to day in healthy ways. Jean is a registered play therapist. Jean integrates many directive and non-directive models into therapeutic play with children and adolescents including EMDR and Gestalt. Play can be used to help children cope with cognitive, behavioral, and emotional issues they may not be able to communicate with words. Detailed information can be found for parents at; Parents Corner - Association for Play Therapy (a4pt.org)

Why don’t you take our insurance?

Over time I have found that being bound to insurance company panels puts pressure to accomplish therapy in a set number of sessions adding anxiety and frustration to already difficult situations. I want to prioritize your well-being without having to reveal deeply personal details about our sessions to the insurance carrier. Being OON, out-of-network allows for us to work for as long as needed without being forced into justification of why care is needed.

I am not an approved Medicare or Medicaid provider and cannot provide services to enrollees of those programs. For anyone with private insurance and OON benefits, I can provide a superbill for you to seek reimbursement with your insurance carrier. It is your responsibility to know about and understand your individual/family insurance policy. I will provide you with a Good Faith Estimate of the fees for services per new regulations.

What does it mean to be specialized in adoption?

Adoption as an area of clinical concern should be treated by a therapist with specialized knowledge and training. Finding someone with adoption competence and compassion can seem fraught with difficulty. While many providers offer generalized services and state they work with adoption issues very few have specialized training and knowledge to be fully competent. Knowing which issues are deeply interwoven with adoption and which are not requires care to formulate a good treatment plan.

As a therapist who loves lifelong learning, I value ensuring that I remain up to date on “best practices” and the scientific evidence base for treatments provided to help people with their psychological health and well-being. I did continuing education training completing a certificate in Adoption in 2013 through Rutgers as well as the Theraplay play therapy training that supports secure attachment, attachment formation and repair. I continue both learning in trainings and providing trainings around the issues that are unique to members of the adoption constellation.

As a provider, parent, and twice adopted person I am uniquely positioned to assist members of the adoption constellation and professionals working in adoption. Without recognizing that adoption is rooted in losses, giving care and consideration around those events it is easy to miss key needs and effectively resolve wounds caused by the grief, loss, early attachment struggles and traumatic events.

While being a member of the adoption constellation doesn’t automatically mean someone is traumatized or that therapy is required; knowledge and training around those possibilities are highly beneficial even when our work together focuses on other issues. Having worked with an adoptive family or adopted individuals also does not automatically mean every provider has all the needed skills either.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics study from 2013 the reported risk of a suicide attempt for an adopted person was four times (4X) more likely than their non-adopted peers to have had a suicide attempt.

Why do you require that we have shared about adopting our child with our child, she/he was a baby and couldn’t possibly remember?

This is a really great question! I will be very up front, if you have adopted a child and do not ever plan to tell them or want me to keep this from them- I am not the therapist to work with for your family. Please do see care from another provider.

First and foremost, your child is the person who was adopted, they were there and experienced the adoption. While they do not have conscious, or explicit memory of the relinquishment and adoptive placement they did experience those events and therefore have implicit or experiential memory of the adoption. On a very primal level your child already knows they are adopted, and you are affirming and confirming events they lived through. By affirming their experiences, you are strengthening your relationship and connection.

Next, secrets in families are toxic. I will distinguish a secret as something that is meant to hurt someone, just like children whispering in the halls, excluding others or adults asking children to “not tell” about something they did so they can abuse them. There are many things that are private in families, perhaps IVF treatment details or when grownups are intimate, these aren’t secrets because we know they happen but it’s okay not to share when we want some privacy because it isn’t hurting anyone. Surprises are also things we often don’t share up front but unlike a secret they are meant to make people feel good, just like birthday gifts. Adoption is none of those things. Adoption is a lifelong experience with different challenges at every developmental stage; hiding the truth can only prolong hurt or worse harm your relationships.

Additionally with the rise in transracial, transnational adoptions, adoptive families become quite visible to the outside eye. While all your friends, family, school staff and religious community may know and not say anything, at some point the day will come when someone does say something. Social media, DNA testing, open adoptions that have a level of contact and social connections make searching for facts very easy as children grow up. The best source for the facts is you, the parents who love this child and will tell them with love, caring and support.

Last, if you were previously told not to tell or that adoption didn’t matter, “as if” born to is exactly the same as raising a biological child, I encourage you to request the most recent research study results and speak to adoptee professionals who work in adoption to gain and understand why this “truth telling” is so vital.

I am more than happy to work with you to tell your child about their individual circumstances, the hard things, the big emotions and what support they need from you. You are free to choose to have us do this together with your child or privately at home, it’s normal to worry, but you aren’t sharing anything that this child didn’t experience already- alone without your support. Please do understand I will not hold adoption as a secret endlessly through working with your family as I have witnessed firsthand how harmful this can truly be.